The revolution will not be televised.
The revolution will not be available on videotape.
The revolution will not be available on the World Wide Web
The revolution will not be available on CD-ROM.
The revolution will not be stereo simulcast.
The revolution will not have official corporate sponsors. There will
be no ``Official Athletic Shoe'' of the revolution.
The revolution will not have a soundtrack album available on CD or
cassette.
You will not purchase tickets to the revolution from TicketMaster.
The revolution will not be hyped on daytime talk shows or late-night
infomercials.
The revolution will not have a dress code.
The revolution will not require a photo I.D.
The revolution will not be recorded on security cameras ``for your
protection.''
The revolution will not serve decaff cappuchino , non-alcoholic beer,
or anything made with Olestra. The revolution will not have a concession
stand.
The revolution will not have an 800 number. Or an 888 number. Or even
a 900 number. The Psychic Friends Network will not presage the revolution.
You will not buy one revolution and get the second at half price.
The revolution will not run from 9 to 5.
The revolution will not be delivered to your house in thirty minutes
or less by a teenaged delivery boy.
The revolution will not be delivered to your house overnight via Federal
Express.
The revolution will not be the big Christmas item this year. It does
not make the perfect stocking stuffer.
The revolution will not make use of chain letters, telemarketers,
junk mail, or pyramid schemes.
There will be no revolution catalog delivered to your door.
The revolution will not be available in the latest designer colors
to match your home decor.
There will not be a home game version of the revolution.
The revolution will not have a televangelical gospel hour on Sunday
mornings. The revolution will not solicit ``prayer offerings'' or ``love
donations.''
The revolution will not ``downsize'' anyone to increase its profits.
And the revolution will not be the subject of a 60 Minutes special
investigation. Because the revolution will not be televised.
Next: The Fire Inside Up: Bizarre Acts of Poetry Previous: Fossils
Tom Swiss